self growth

May 2 2019

The Marathon Continues

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“Instead of trying to build a brick wall, lay a brick everyday. Eventually you’ll look up and you’ll have a brick wall.” – Nipsey Hussle

The marathon continues… Top of the Top… Victory Lap… Crenshaw… King Nipsey

In the past few weeks, the phrase above and one name have dominated the internet and entertainment news. Nipsey Hussle.
I shall not get into much detail about him but his life and death has caused many conspiracy theories. From big pharma assassinations, Illuminati sacrifices and gang-related violence.
For me, the rabbit-hole led me to research about his life and community activism and what I found out was amazing. You can read about some of it here.

I believe we are all born into genius. You’ve been built to amaze. And you’re designed to make history. The only problem is, do YOU know it and are you willing to do it.
It all comes down to discovering your “Why”, reconnecting with your purpose and radiating your passion. I know this sounds simple, it should be but is it really? While I was reading about Nispey I found out he was big on personal development. Most of his conversation was him talking about a book he was reading, a new habit he was instilling or a better routine he was working on. Because of this those around recognized him for his mastery, celebrated his acumen and praised his excellence.

I’m about seeing long-term, seeing a vision, understanding nothing really worthwhile happens overnight, and just sticking to your script long enough to make something real happen. Click To Tweet

He was fresh and brave, he would befriend a stranger, deliver hope to the hopeless and model decency. This came about only after he turned pain into power, fear into fortune and confusion into clarity. We are often victims of the world in general but it takes you working to let go of your past, rewire your present and rewrite your future.

You need to get to that point where you release your excuses, shatter your doubts and break free of your chains. What happens after this process is you open yourself to set larger goals, take bigger risks and go to your limits.
I believe personal development is the only way you will experience true gratitude, speak real appreciation and feel sincere happiness. Regardless of how people perceived Nipsey, he was all right with himself. He was quoted saying “I’m at peace with what I’m doing, I feel good with what I wake up doing and about my lifestyle.” You need to get to that point where you do not need anyone’s approval to be you.

I bet if you ask any person that knew Nipsey on a personal level they would safely tell you how he showed uncommon kindness, was a giver, not a taker and left people better than they found them. This can be your legacy too, it can be your story. But the question is do you have the hunger to survive the principle of discipline so that you do not suffer the pain of regret? As a father, entertainer, entrepreneur and activist I learned so much from Nipsey. Was he perfect? I have no idea, but what he did teach through his very short life is that there is more joy in mastering yourself and pouring out yourself for the benefit of others.

But in this time of deep uncertainty – where so many people live in fear – we all need to do everything possible to avoid negativity. To stay focused on opportunities versus problems. To keep our minds nice and free. Click To Tweet

I challenge you to discover you. For you to take that risk, finish that book, close that deal, push that boundary. Leave behind a story for people to tell about how you lived life and make it a positive one.

Borrowing from Morpheus in The Matrix here’s an interesting thought on how to live YOUR life. But in this time of deep uncertainty – where so many people live in fear – we all need to do everything possible to avoid negativity. To stay focused on opportunities versus problems. To keep our minds nice and free.

May I suggest you limit the amount of adverse news you expose the precious resource of your mind to. Surround yourself with inspired and upbeat people. Read great books. Think beautiful thoughts. Listen to uplifting music. Seek only positive energy.

During any challenging life cycle, commit even more fully to daily learning. In our everyday lives, there are lessons to make us better. The best in business – and in life – viscerally get that the best thinkers get the best results. So they invest in ideas and personal development. Because the more you grow as a person, the more you will grow in success. Though Nipsey Hussle is gone, millions will uphold his legacy forever.

What will your story be?

April 25 2019

Lessons From My Father

Mansfield Motivation, self growth fatherhood, fathers, growth, legacy, lessons, life, manhood, purpose, sonship 0

“The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family.” ―Reed Markham

Feels good to be here again, last week I spoke about how my son has impacted my life as a man. How he has pushed me to literally man up. Why – because I have come to realise I am the first male role model he has. In this post i will share with you lessons from my father, even after he passed.

Every single day it is becoming more apparent that I need to set the RIGHT standard for my son. And i have come to find that the greatest challenge to fatherhood is the lack of fathers. I speak from personal experience through my life and the lives I have seen around me. Where there is no positive male influence it is difficult to raise firm men for society.
So communities suffer because there is a generation of men who do not understand their role. I am no exception to this, I have not figured it all out myself as well. I also struggle with identity and purpose and meaning, but I keep learning. In my journey and interactions, I have picked up a few things that I am applying in my life today.

But the world doesn't remember you for what you say you are going to do, they remember what you actually do. Click To Tweet

The weight of being a man is so much that we tend to lose the real focus of why we are doing what we are doing. But if you create a system that is unique to you as an individual it makes it easier to navigate your own manhood. I have a problem with execution, yes, I overthink to the point I do not see the need to actually do something. This has been one of my major vices as it has caused me not to do or say things when I was supposed to. And when things go wrong or right, my reaction is “I was thinking about doing or saying this”. But the world doesn’t remember you for what you say you are going to do, they remember what you actually do.

So many of us have strategies for offence but not for defence. When you know your kryptonite you can guard against it. So it is important to frequently review yourself, daily if you will. Too little and you won’t make the progress, too much and you’ll focus on the wrong things. Jon Rohn said to “Make measurable progress in a reasonable time.” I reckon that’s great advice to do the same.

There are 5 pillars I want to share with you. Some are the lessons I learned from my own father in the short timeframe I had with him and the people that he impacted.

FORMATION – Nurture your soul

Your world will rise and fall on the health of your soul. By formation, I mean taking responsibility for the maturity and health of your soul. As you get older this gets more important because it shows up (for better or for worse) more and more. A middle-aged man who keeps living out of his immaturity, lack of formation and brokenness is just plain embarrassing sometimes. Don’t be that man. I have been there and I know this.

Cultivate humility of character and guard against independence.

EDUCATION – Sharpen your talents

When you see your skills and gifts as talents to steward not things you own, you have launched yourself on the road to maturity. You alone are responsible for the stewardship of your talents and you alone must own the development and deployment of them. No one will invest in your manhood, it’s all on you.

Learn the art of discipline and guard against the arrogance of your giftedness and the assumption that growth is automatic, it isn’t, growth is intentional. You have to want it and you have to ACTION it.

ACTION – Contribute your best

As a man, you’re built for activity. Curiously contemplation and reflection matter as much, but only if it leads to productive work. You are built to work, be ok with that in the context of your education and formation. Find your best contribution, be true to yourself, your passions and talents. Fulfil your responsibilities, serve others, love all. There’s a huge thrill in seeing others benefit from your presence and talents. We all miss someone when they die, and their action is the reason why. By all means, execute.

Guard against indifference. When you stop caring, feeling and crying you stop the deep matters of the souls that keep us alive as humans.

Learn the art of discipline and guard against the arrogance of your giftedness and the assumption that growth is automatic, it isn’t, growth is intentional. Click To Tweet

PURPOSE – Fulfil your why

I have said this in previous posts and I really really love it. There’s a date better than your birth date. It’s the day you clarify WHY you were born. You have a deep purpose and reason for being. Discover that. Name it and allow it to be an empowering true north for you. Allow it to be the thing that helps you say yes to a few things and no to everything else. Let it drive you. Let it mould you.

Maintain your perspective. Purpose flourishes when perspective is clear, Guard against self-centeredness, the kind that thinks you are owed something, you’re not. What you get to have is by grace and favour, persistence and integrity. Never play the victim, you are in control of your destiny.

LEGACY – Outlive your life

This has increasingly become so important to me. Play the long game. All around you, the temptation to compare and evaluate is huge. You will wish you had become more, done more, seen more and had more. It’s all rubbish. You are not running someone else’s race. You are running yours. So focus on the things that really matter

Dream about not just what you will do but who you will be to those that matter most. Live consistently and well. Guard against disconnectedness and disengagement. It profits nothing to be alone and successful. Find the balance between work, life and family.

You are male by birth and man by choice. Right now my promise to my son is “I will lead you with the very best I’ve got”. Soon enough we will walk side by side and following that I’ll stand him proudly on my shoulders and shout to the world ‘This is MY son, look at the man he has become.”

Share with us your journey through fatherhood and manhood in general in the comments section, we would love to hear your story. And share with us any lessons from your father.

April 18 2019

Lessons From Michael

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“There’s more to life than basketball. The most important thing is your family and taking care of each other and loving each other no matter what.” – Steph Curry

Some people are saying it’s harder to be a man today than ever before. Maybe that’s true, I wasn’t there ‘before’ – Dad and Grandpa were. They would probably say it was simpler, but I’m not sure it was easier. Some people are saying we have an epidemic of manhood. Maybe that’s true too. It seems to me that as a society we are less clear on what manhood actually means; the spectrum of strength to sensitivity seems to fall short of something that embraces full and whole manhood.

I have a 7-year-old son, Michael, who has enriched my life in so many ways. His energy and enthusiasm is so male, his creativity and thoughtfulness continues to leave me wide-eyed at what’s in him. When I think about him, I think of 3 things: “Love God, lead my family and leave a legacy.” For me, those three things matter to our manhood more than anything.

Let me explain:

LOVE – The commitment to embrace

The ancients wrote that “The greatest is love.” People will forget what you did and remember how you made them feel. As I reflect on life and leadership so far I’d recommend saying less and listening more. Sharing more encouragement than opinion. Find the 1% you agree on and give 100% of your energy to that (Attribution: John Maxwell 101% principle) My son personifies love. He has a deep well of care, consideration and sensitivity that I see in few men. I believe if you keep that and you’ll go far.

Never be afraid to stand up, step up and create a better future for yourself and those around you. Click To Tweet

LEAD – The courage to stand out

Part of manhood is having a deep vision and purpose for your life. Men without a purpose are spineless, nothing to hold you up in the face of challenge and opportunity. When you have a purpose you have a true north to get up to, invest into and seek out. The lack of a purpose means you delay responsibility, challenge, failure. Never be afraid to stand up, step up and create a better future for yourself and those around you. Leadership begins with self. It is important to learn the art of self-leadership as early as possible in life. Just that will launch you forward faster.

LEGACY – The privilege of serving

My son is a unique individual but also part of a wider family, a community, a country and a world. His responsibility is to be the very best. Not only for the sake of his own sense of pride but more for the sake of those who will benefit the best version of himself. Legacy is hard to point to looking forward because it’s more potential and possibility. It’s easier to see it in retrospect, the fruit of what came before. When it comes to legacy, you have to believe that continuing to sow the right seeds will produce the right harvest. In your life, your marriage, your family, your careers and your contribution to the planet.

When it comes to legacy, you have to believe that continuing to sow the right seeds will produce the right harvest. Click To Tweet

The curious thing for me is, I’m still learning to be the man I’m describing to you right now. Life is punctuated by points of growth and change. All the while winding upward towards the dream and purpose you pursue. It is also dotted with disappointments and hurts, realisations and revelations, joys and celebrations, regrets and determinations. The main thing is to be certain you are becoming more of the man you need to be over time. Doing less of those things that will place weeds in your life and legacy. And more and more of those things that will give greater assurance of a healthy and enriched experience and future.

In all the teaching on manhood that I read and that resonates with me they talk about this thing called a “Father Wound” Richard Rohr defines it as “a deep hurt, a deprivation that leads to a poor sense of one’s own centre and boundaries, a mind that is disconnected from one’s body and emotions, a life often with the passivity of an unlit fire”. As a definition, this feels too drastic to believe that it would be true. I know it’s worse for some and not others.

Even as I write this I loathe the idea that I would wound my son in a way that at some point in his life he’ll have to process on the way to fully formed manhood. I hate a few things but this would be on the list, knowing my woundedness has wounded him. Just like my dad never set to give me a Father Wound I never intentionally want to do that to him. That said, when you know what it is, name it, learn from it and be pleased of it. You are not the Father Wound, you are, in part, the healing of that wound, and you are so much more.

One of my big mistakes is I have treated problems as something I ‘action’ my way out of when what I really needed to have done is dig deeper into the formative and learning possibilities in these moments. I missed a number of opportunities to grow personally and learn relationally because of this, I trust I am amending that now and into the future because that will help you when you hit a roadblock.

There are 5 key principles that I believe will help men in our generation grow in the area of contribution and purpose. These are: Formation, Education, Action, Purpose and Legacy. Join me again next week when I break these down as we journey into being better.

April 11 2019

The Power Of Habits

Mansfield Leadership, Productivity, self growth bad, good, growth, habit, habits, life, lifehack, moments, power 0

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” – Prov. 22:6.

In my previous post, I quoted Confucius saying that the nature of men is always the same. It is their habits that separate them. This had me thinking that habits must be very powerful if they can separate our nature.

Good habits are not acquired simply by making good resolves, though the thought must precede the action. We develop good habits in the workshop of our daily lives. Great moments of test and trial do not build character, they simply display it. It is the often uneventful, commonplace routine of daily life that fashion the habits that direct our lives and form our character. Our habits are acquired by practice.

Good habits are not acquired simply by making good resolves, though the thought must precede the action. Click To Tweet

King Solomon taught, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” We may not always know what lies ahead, but we find strength and safety in good conduct. We need to organize our lives according to good principles and chart the right course as we journey in life.

Through life, we learn that good character-building habits mean everything. It is by such behaviour that we harness the real substance and value of life. The way we live outweigh any words we may profess to follow. Mahatma Gandhi said, “Man’s destined purpose is to conquer all habits, to overcome the evil in him and to restore good to its rightful place.” This echoes the importance or power of our habits.

Bad habits are a reflection of our thoughts and personalities, our behaviour and conduct. They are degrading to the choice qualities which are our God-given endowments of faith, honesty, integrity, and uprightness. This is where good habits begin. Someone has observed, “When a man boasts of his bad habits, you may rest assured they are the best he has.”

Habits are subject to change and improvement. Our environment and circumstances help in this process which means it is important to be in the right place. Our great challenge is to learn how to control ourselves. We must learn for ourselves and act for ourselves, being careful not to follow those doing wrong. Some may ask who sets the bar? When you engage in a bad habit, you know your habit is bad. You are just not willing to agree because you do not want to change it.

An ancient proverb states that good habits result from resisting temptation. Such resistance often takes the form of a persevering struggle. When bad habits become a part of our lives we need more than a desire to overcome them, we must ACT.
We should become so involved in acquiring good quality traits and participating in character-building activities that there is no time to engage in anything worthless or harmful. Our habits should be those that make us susceptible to growth and development.

The strengths that enable us to set aside the urge to do wrong are self-mastery, self-control, and self-discipline. It is a wonderful feeling to conquer wrong practices and to be free and unencumbered from their detrimental effects. When we have conquered our bad habits and replaced them with good ones, living as we should, then we are on our way to a fulfilled life.

Self-mastery, self-control, and self-discipline are required strengths that enable us to set aside the urge to do wrong. Click To Tweet

Ernest L. Wilkinson, speaking to the students of Brigham Young University, said: “Character … is not something to be obtained by ease and indolence or being socially agreeable. It cannot be acquired by absorption or by proxy or on the auction block. It is a reward derived from honest toil in overcoming difficulties. We grow by mastering tasks which others consider impossible.”

The right behaviour implies a strict adherence to moral principles and honesty of purpose. We need to ask ourselves, “Are my usual thoughts and present actions worthy of a good life? Am I setting my sights on positive goals and working to obtain them?” Anything short of our best isn’t good enough.

April 4 2019

The Nature Of Habits

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“All people are the same; only their habits differ.” – Confucius

A lot of elements of our characters are often expressed unconsciously by our nature and habit. Our character is constituted with thirty per cent nature by birth and seventy per cent habit formed by daily life. Our character is expressed in many characteristics. These characteristics are built up with thirty per cent of our nature and seventy per cent of our habit.

Real world habits often exhibit additional features suggesting they are insensitive to current goals and intentions. Click To Tweet

See you may have been born a slow person. If you were under strict parents and teachers who would not allow you to be slow but compelled you to be quick, it would change, to some extent, the slowness you received by birth. On the other hand, if you are born slow and lived with parents who are also slow, then a habit of being slow would have be built up within you. The slowness you receive by birth would be joined to a habit of slowness to form a character with this terrible characteristic.

However, habits are usually formed from narrowly defined context-response mappings. These mappings are implemented in a manner that is not dependent on a goal or intention.
Real world habits often exhibit additional features suggesting they are insensitive to current goals and intentions.
The reasons I say this are:

People rarely change habitual behaviours for alternative behaviours that meet the same goal. For example switching from a daily jogging habit to cycling.
Habit performance often persists even when the value or relevance of the goal has changed or been achieved. You find yourself still running even after you have lost the 10kg that inspired the daily run.

This happens because our conscious mind hands down tasks to the subconscious mind. Here patterns of behaviour get ingrained and are triggered automatically. That’s the reason we feel habits are automatic and that we have little or no control over them.
When we learn to do a task it gets stored in our subconscious memory database. This is so that we don’t have to learn it all over again every time we need to do it. This is the very mechanics of habits. First, you learn to do something. When you repeat the activity enough number of times, your conscious mind decides to not bother about the task anymore. It is handed over to your subconscious mind so that it becomes an automatic behavioural response. I call this muscle memory.

If a pattern of behaviour can be learned consciously, it can be unlearned consciously too Click To Tweet

You will see this to be true in snipers, sports players, artists, music players. You probably see it in any discipline of life, to be honest.
The key to note here is that habits always start consciously. If a pattern of behaviour can be learned consciously, it can be unlearned consciously too.
Any pattern of behaviour strengthens if we repeat it and weakens if we don’t repeat it. Repetition is food for habits.

when you cease to repeat behaviour, your mind comes to think that it is no longer needed. Click To Tweet

When you repeat a habit, you are convincing your subconscious mind that the habit is a beneficial behavioural response. This means it should be triggered as automatically as possible. However, when you cease to repeat behaviour, your mind comes to think that it is no longer needed. It’s worthwhile to mention that research has confirmed the fact that when our habits change, our neural networks also change.

The point I’m trying to make is that habits are not rigid behavioural patterns that you can’t change. Though habits have a sticky nature, we are not stuck with our habits. They can be changed but first, you need to convince your mind that they are not needed. Habits always serve a need even if the need was not so apparent.
There are ways to change your habits. In this blog, I will do my part in helping you to become a better person through better habits. Stay tuned!

March 28 2019

The Reveal Precedes The Release

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And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him. – Genesis 21:5

Apple just had its keynote for 2019 where they revealed Apple TV+ and Apple Arcade among other things. In June 2018 Apple announced a multiyear deal with Oprah Winfrey to create original programming. This was seen as a direct jab at HBO, Netflix Inc and Amazon.com Inc.
Since June 2018, there was nothing but speculation of when or how this huge deal would actually materialise. Fast-track to 25 March 2019, we finally had an official reveal date.

The thing with revelations is they are prophetic in a way. They create a desire and anticipation, in some people, they create a path to follow. I bet there are millions already saving to subscribe to Apple TV+ right now so they can watch Oprah. And I am also sure there are cable hackers already strategising on how to get this exclusive content for FREE.

Purpose flourishes were perspective is clear. Click To Tweet

If you read the bible in the book of Genesis you will remember a man named Abram. He was 75 years old when God spoke to him about becoming a father of many nations. The problem with this reveal was that Abram’s wife Sarai was barren. Looking at their physical space it was not possible for Abram to father nations. It was physically impossible for his wife to bear children.

Though it was physically impossible for Sarai to bear Isaac, it created hope in both of them. It created a desire to want to see the revelation come true. There is a day better than the day you are born. That is the day you clarify WHY you were born. To me, the day you are born is your reveal day, and the day you figure out your why is your release day.

There is a day better than the day you are born. That is the day you clarify WHY you were born. To me, the day you are born is your reveal day, and the day you figure out your why is your release day. Click To Tweet

Purpose flourishes were perspective is clear. So it is important to guard yourself against self – centeredness, the kind that thinks you are owed something, you are not. What you get you have by grace and favour, persistence, patience and integrity.

Revelation is then important for 3 main reasons.

To Give Vision – When Steve Jobs first introduced the iPhone in January 2007, it was a revolutionary game changer. It was marked with the now famous words “…Today, Apple is going to reinvent the phone.”
This has been at the forefront of their cutting edge technologies, and it has pushed many players in the mobile phone industry to think outside the box.
When you discover your purpose as an individual, it allows you to frame a blueprint of how you will do things from that day onwards. You begin to move in your purpose, making the necessary adjustments that allow you to fulfil your purpose.
Uplift – At some time in our lives, each of us needs to be lifted up from a depression, from a sense of foreboding or inadequacy, or just from a plateau of mediocrity. I believe that the feeling of uplift that is communicated by reading the scriptures or by enjoying wholesome music, art, or literature is a distinct purpose of revelation. It raises our spirits and helps us recalibrate. Our world will rise and fall on the health of our soul. So it is important to allow your reveal to help you take responsibility for the maturity and health of your soul.
To Inform – Have you ever just listened to someone talk or say something and it seems like they are talking directly to you? Revelation gives you the inspiration, imagine you are sitting in your office and some just say, “hey ever thought of starting a business? you have awesome ideas…” It fires up something inside of you. Even if you never thought of it yourself, you begin to somehow trust your ideas. Revelation helps with communicating information and truths for the edification and guidance of the recipient.
When you see your skills and gifts as talents to steward not things you own, you launch yourself on the road of maturity in your purpose.

Use the reveal to make yourself better for the release. Set the right principle from the start, create the kind of demand that will launch you into a fresh stratosphere.

Be patient, play the longevity game, It literally took Abraham 100 years to have his release date. But when that release date came, it made the revelation all the more sweet. Click To Tweet

Your revelation is a culmination of inputs. Enjoy your podium or stage, we haven’t seen what you did to get to your release date but we cheer on your success.

So keep these things in mind, you need to have and hold your passion for that brighter future. You need to put in the work through creating disciplined inputs. Like I said in the previous post, you will go fast alone but farther together. Be patient, play the longevity game, It literally took Abraham 100 years to have his release date. But when that release date came, it made the revelation all the more sweet.

Share with us your revelations in the comments section.

March 21 2019

The Haves & The Have Nots

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“Make your work to be in keeping with your purpose.”

– Leonardo da Vinci

So last week I read an article about how some rich families have been paying bribes to get their children into Ivy League Schools. We are talking the likes of Yale, Georgetown and Harvard. One family reportedly paid about $6m for 2 children. Overall there’s been about $27m paid by 33 families in bribes.

Now this had me thinking. If you are willing to pay $6m for your child to go to school, how much money are they making?

And why are they even trying to get their children into Havard through bribes if they are that wealthy? And there it dawned on me. The elite are not trying to lose their “eliteness” at the expense of your talent.

I want you to see something here. Do you realise how much effort you are going to need to put in if you are going to pry your piece of the pie from the haves when you are a have not?

You are doing your best. Literally killing the game at whatever you do to get you to a place where you can be part of the haves but they are sabotaging your efforts through their influence.

just because you are the best cotton picker on the field that doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to own the land. Click To Tweet

We are in a world were the haves are not going to let you just walk in and sit at the table. It doesn’t matter how talented or how hardworking you are. They are just not going to hand the keys over to you. They are not trying to lose.

So you begin at the bottom. Your ambition is to put in work to get you to the top. When you get to the top you are not offered a seat but you are given a thank you for being loyal.

This made me realise that just because you are the best cotton picker on the field that doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to own the land.

So if talent, hardwork and being a good person are not enough then what is? Access.

I have always been big on “tribes” and the reason is as clear as a parent paying $6m to get their child into university. It is all about access to other like minds. If you are not in an environment where you have access to resources that you lack it is going to take you longer to embrace your purpose. There is a saying that goes “if you want to go fast then go alone but if you want to go further then go together”.

Essentially what this means is other people are critical to your success and you cannot achieve it ALL by yourself.

Make it a habit to surround yourself with individuals that give you access. Access to their resources that you do not have. Click To Tweet

Eduardo Saverin and Mark Zuckerburg met at Harvard, they worked together to launch Facebook in 2004. In 2012 Saverin owned 53 million Facebook shares valued at approximately $2b at the time. Now we all know their story after that. Being at Harvard at the same time turned both of them into billionaires.

Saverin was one of the main sources of the book aptly titled The Accidental Billionaires: The Founding Of Facebook.

Now we do not know if this would have been possible if they had attended different schools. It does however echo my sentiment that finding the right environment will help you achieve your desired result.

Make it a habit to surround yourself with individuals that give you access. Access to their resources that you do not have. Attend business seminars even if you do not have a business. Join a gym or charity, serve at elite events. Expose yourself to the world of the haves even if you are a have not.

To begin the process of finding your tribe and clarifying your purpose track with these five steps:

1 Evaluate your reality – Are you weaker in one area or another, or both?

2 Pick your starting point – Are you starting with tribe or purpose?

3 Lean in and find your people – Look for those deep and rich connections and i am not talking about money but access.

4 Refine and rewrite your purpose – Purpose is both discovered and created.

5 Set the bar high – With a great tribe and compelling purpose there’s no limit to what you can achieve and contribute.

You might be a talented have not today but with the right connections you could achieve your purpose.

Share with us your thoughts in the comments section.

March 14 2019

Release

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“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.” – Daphne Rose Kingma

The DNA of greatness is placed inside all humanity from the moment of conception. It comes from God. We are created in His image and likeness; therefore, greatness is our destiny. But life has a way of convincing us otherwise.
Shame, disappointment, failure, pain and struggle are all part of the blueprint to greatness. No one has ever arrived at their purpose without walking through some pain or discomfort.

The DNA of greatness is placed inside all humanity from the moment of conception. Click To Tweet

The most important thing then becomes the release. This means to set free, let go, allow to function without hindrance, give authority to etc.
3 main themes then come to mind when I think of this release. And I want to share these with you today.

Release From…
When you make a conscious decision to change, you are free to explore the missing pieces of your life. But this will only happen when you are released from a place of dysfunction. Physically changing your environment will help you see things clearer and pursue the things that matter.
If you are trying to quit alcohol, for example, you cannot be frequently hanging out in a pub now, would you?
You are going to have to move away from places that distract or hinder you. Places that stifle your potential. Places that do not acknowledge your brilliant skill and excellence.

Release of…
Removing yourself from a dysfunctional place is only effective if you move with a new mindset. Many people move from places of dysfunction but the dysfunction remains in their minds. Changing your perception becomes just as important as changing your view. If you move from an abusive relationship it is difficult to open up or be vulnerable to another person because that abuse still resides in your mind – it’s time to release.

A lot of people are in a place of plenty but still operate like they are in a place of lack. Your mindset needs to change, you need to start thinking positively.

Release Into…
The final and most critical release is when you are released into your potential. This is the level were access is important. A positive place and a positive mind force action. Take walking into a gym, for example, you simply feel motivated to work out even if you were accompanying a friend. You find yourself lifting dumbells, or running on the treadmill. This is because the environment forces you to act.
When your opportunity comes, focus on that opportunity and execute. Do not worry about anything else, just concentrate on that opportunity that will launch you into your purpose.

There are a lot of things that you will need to release for you to function fully in your purpose. Some of them could be working for you now but when you launch into a different stratosphere they will weigh you down. A rocket is not designed to fly but to propel a shuttle into space.
So maintaining flight could be a win for an aeroplane but for a rocket it could be a failure. It is designed to break into different atmospheres but as we all know, the actual rocket doesn’t make it to space.

There will come a time when you will need to release your boosters and your rockets so that you thrust into a new atmosphere. In this new atmosphere, direction is more important than power and speed. So drop the gossip, drop the procastinating, drop the laziness, drop the excuses.
Release.

March 7 2019

How To Own Your Power – Men

Mansfield Motivation, self growth life, life goals, life plan, now, personal growth, power 0

“There is nothing else than now. There is neither yesterday, certainly, nor is there any tomorrow. How old must you be before you know that?” – Ernest Hemingway

Changing a lifetime’s mental habits is an ongoing process, not a one-time quick fix. Our brains are built to reinforce behaviour that feels safe and comfortable, even when that behaviour hurts us more than helps us. Here are some tips that I’ve found helpful in the ongoing quest to harness your own power.

Our power lives in us, not outside of us. We do not have control over the outside world, but we do have control over what is inside of us. Click To Tweet

1.Look inward for reinforcement, not outward.
When you feel stress or anxiety, resist the urge to look for external reinforcement. External reinforcement is the sugar high of emotions; it comes in a quick blast and then fades, and then you need another hit. All those seemingly harmless behaviours—scrolling social media, reading news blurbs—are ways to distract you. They are ways of trying to get external reinforcement that this moment is okay.

Our power lives in us, not outside of us. We do not have control over the outside world, but we do have control over what is inside of us. When you feel the need for reassurance, remind yourself that all the resources you need to be present and at peace are inside you. Remember that they have always been there, and they will always be there.

2. Control your information stream.
Put your news consumption on a diet. Put your phone away. Regulate your use of external information for emotional support, especially from social media. Facebook, Twitter and the rest can be wonderful ways to connect with friends. But overuse them and they begin to make you feel disconnected instead and left out. It’s so easy to feel inadequate because of the controlled environments we expose ourselves to.

3. Write down your goals—and then throw them away.
Goal setting is a great way to prioritize what’s important to you. Just remember that goals are about the future. Once you’ve identified them, let them float away into the future, where they belong. The real rewards are not in attaining your final goals, but in working towards them. And that only happens in the present. Do not just write or talk, EXECUTE.

4. Embrace gratitude.
At regular intervals take a few moments out of your day and list five things you feel grateful for. Gratitude is an amazing weapon against anxiety, and it is a powerful way of reminding ourselves of the power and value of the present moment.

A great way to immerse yourself in gratitude is to perform acts that help other people. Volunteering and acts of kindness help us focus on others, rather than ourselves, and are an amazingly effective tool for living presently.

5. Practice mindfulness.
Develop a simple, repeatable mindfulness habit. If meditation is your thing, spend fifteen minutes each morning in quiet contemplation, simply being present. The core of my contemplative process is taking walks. It’s my way of burning out the noise and anxiety of the future and the past (which do not exist) and bringing my awareness back to the present moment. Experiment and figure out what works best for you, and then make it a habit.

We sometimes get so detached from the present moment that it seems like foreign territory, and lowering our defences to allow it in can seem scary. When we let go of the future and allow ourselves to be in the now, we are actually committing an act of bravery. Diving in may be hard, but it’s the only way to find the true richness of life.
Good Luck lads.

February 28 2019

How To Own Your Power – Women

Mansfield Motivation, self growth diverse, strong, woman 0

“Each time a woman stands up for herself, she stands up for all women.” – Maya Angelou

I have seen people give away too much of their own personal power. While I’m not interested in power over other people, I see it as highly desirable to exercise your own power over yourself and your own life choices.

Mastery of our own power seems difficult for most people but I believe it is especially challenging for women. Women are socialised with the feminine archetype of the all-sacrificing, demure, other-centred mother who puts herself last. Most young women have trouble developing their own voice within relationships, work or advocating for what they need and want in an assertive way.

It always shocks me to be treating a bright, educated, talented young woman who allows herself to be verbally abused or otherwise mistreated in a love relationship. Many other young women are in relationships where they are so grateful to be loved and accepted that they pack away and sublimate their own desires, goals, and interests. It’s as if young women believe they have to make a bargain and give away part of themselves to be in intimate relationships or to be in positions of influence and power. You shouldn’t have to do that, but first, you need someone to remind you that you need to be yourself in close relationships, or it’s not the right relationship for you.

Many other young women are in relationships where they are so grateful to be loved and accepted that they pack away and sublimate their own desires, goals, and interests. Click To Tweet

How do you empower yourself?

You ask yourself what you would REALLY be doing or wanting if you were not afraid. Don’t operate out of fear.
You keep working on your own personal goals, regardless of where you are. This might include career goals, more education, volunteer service, making and maintaining friendships, financial health, physical fitness, learning new things, developing your interests and passions, cultivating your spirituality, travelling, or learning a new skill. Remember, whatever happens in your relationships, you are with you, either way! Keep making you interesting, and keep growing.
Give up blame.
Take responsibility for yourself, your attitude, your mistakes, and your part in things, this way you find your rhythm.
Get some support. Most people feel more courageous when they are encouraged. Build your support base, find your tribe and belong. Find a group of purposed women who can help you identify how to build yours. If you already found your tribe, consider deepening your existing support system by joining other support groups, a meetup group, a women’s or men’s group, a book club, or a religious or spiritual group.
Give up playing ‘victim’. Don’t use victim language. Don’t hope for a rescue, make some plans and set some goals. Act as you believe in yourself.
Learn to negotiate, and do it at work as well as in your close relationships. You may not be able to get what you want, but how do you know unless you try? Many partners and supervisors respect you more if you advocate respectfully on your own behalf.
Say hello to ‘NO’. Boundaries have to be set and maintained with other people. Having limits gets you respected. Your yes means nothing if you aren’t free to say no. Don’t be a doormat. They get walked on and that’s not you.
Show some confidence. This isn’t the same thing as arrogance by the way. It isn’t boastful or prideful. Humble confidence means you respect yourself.
Focus less on what other people think of you. People pleasing is overrated and exhausting, do not make decisions based on people’s opinions of you.
Appreciate your unique qualities, believe it or not, there is only one you.
Work on accepting yourself, and speaking kindly to yourself on the inside. The power of positive internal dialogue is huge. Become aware of what your inner voice is saying to you all day, and upgrade that criticism to encouraging, supportive self-talk.
Speak up. Say what you think, want, and feel. If you don’t, you are going to be underrepresented in the relationship, and over time you may grow to resent the other person.
Don’t sign up for any long-term relationship with a person who devalues you, demeans you, doesn’t care what you want, or doesn’t feel you are just as important as they are.

There is a dramatic difference between being fearful and, in the words of writer and vulnerability researcher Brene Brown, being “daring greatly”. Only you can decide to be you, undiluted by life’s events and disappointments, and striving for a bigger life. Only you can play you at full strength. Don’t settle for anything less.

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