“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” – Albert Einstein
Feels good to be writing to you again guys, hope you all have been well. Today’s topic is on growth, what it is and why it is important. I have come to the realisation that you can never be a leader if you do not grow and get better. This being true, growth exposes a lot of people. For me, my journey in 2019 has been a Roller-coaster to say the least. Yet through it all I have acquired much needed self knowledge and perspective.
Below I share some of the lessons that my personal growth journey has taught me.
As expected it has been uncomfortable and I have felt so uncertain. I thought I knew myself and I knew what I was and wasn’t capable of achieving. Which is somewhat true, I do know myself, but a very limited and restricted version of myself. I didn’t realise how much of a creature of comfort I was until I was no longer comfortable.
You will notice that you need to be willing and open to feeling uncomfortable. That isn’t an easy thing to do, it requires letting go of control, and it may open you up to feeling exposed and incredibly vulnerable. I am at point now where I understand that comfort is my enemy. Which means I need to constantly challenge myself to move out of it in order to get better.
It Brings Freedom.
Looking at what I have been through, I feel like I’ve just let go of so much and it’s only the beginning. I have felt a shift in my confidence like I can trust myself. Being able to trust yourself is such a great feeling trust me, and growth brings that.
Looking back at how much stress I was carrying and how much of that stress I believed I deserved to experience, it now feels like a few bags have been lifted off my shoulders.
As great as that freedom is you do have work on not returning to unhealthy habits. I know struggle and stress so well, it almost feels like I have lost a part of myself and I catch myself longing for the familiarity that comes with stress and constant worry. It’s like you get trapped in your own whirlwind and you need to keep spinning even if you are losing your mind.You cannot expect the microwave to do what the oven does. Click To Tweet
It Takes A Long Time.
I always knew I needed to work on setting boundaries and not allowing people to walk all over me, but it’s only now that I’m on the other side of demonstrating this that I now see how long it really takes to unlearn certain unhealthy habits.
Whether it is small or large acts of mistreatment, it does take time to learn and believe that is not something you’re deserving of. It is not something we learn overnight, I know from experience that you can identify when others are being mistreated, but when it comes to applying those boundaries to our own experiences, it feels uncomfortable and misplaced.
There is so much that happens in between identifying the issue and demonstrating self love, which is why giving ourselves permission to take as long as we need to learn and unlearn is key to our growth. You cannot put a timeline on this process because hurrying it will only give you hurried results. I once had someone say “you cannot expect a microwave to do what an oven does…”. Clearly they kind of do the same thing but they do not do it at the same level.
So take your time, do not let pressure or life dictate how long you go. At the end of the day you are doing it for yourself. A better you is better for the world, even if they have to wait.
This Healing and growing journey is a long and uncomfortable one, because we have to re-live the very things we have so desperately tried to ignore and run away from. I have a long way to go but this is a start and I now have an idea of what it feels like to claw my way through this experience and because of that I am just a little less fearful. I can make decisions without worrying of who’s watching or what they will say.
Take control of your growth and do it for you. Your sphere needs this, your tribe needs this. Start small, the results will shock you.
Share with us your own journey in the comments section.